This is my 160th entry. Anyway.

It's been quite a long time since I felt the way I feel today. Waking up in the morning and thinking it's just another day. Got to do homework, got to think of combined cell this sunday, got to think of what business to start for Basic Entreprenuer and where to get the information of my raw materials, fixed costs and such. Maybe a seafood business? Maybe a chocolatier? Maybe an online business? At the same time, I'm importing the Hillsongs HOPE disc into my iPod. Haiz, it's been a long time since I woke up and feel like crying for the whole day. My schedule, now that school is starting and getting heavier, is just messing up my hormonal levels. I mean, everything's just pushed back so much that I thought I would miss it for this month. But then...

More chocolates and nuts for me. And more water to keep from break outs.

Then my mum came home, screaming. Both dad and her rushed into my room, where I sit glumly and started hugging me and messing up my hair. Apparently they got a letter from TP, inviting them to an Academic Award Ceremony 2006. When my dad announced I got an academic award, I was like..."another award?"

The first thoughts were SAC had some unfinished business with me, but then, I saw the TP logo. Turns out that I am one of the top 10% of the cohort who made it to the DIRECTOR'S HONOURS LIST for the academic year 2005/2006.

And the sad thing is...I'm not even slightly happy or surprised or excited. In fact, I'm like...'oh ok. Got to call the dentist and cancel the appointment.'

WHAT HAS HAPPENED???

I guess that's the result of taking too many awards every year. Or something. I don't know.

I'm just happy that I passed all of my subjects, even got a couple of distinctions and As. And one C. But that's all, I don't expect to get anything in return. Why I bother to get good grades is a mixture of pride, keeping up my reputation and hoping to graduate with merit. Which I'm pretty doubtful of but see where God leads larh. If it is of His will that I graduate with merit and go to a good university...ok. If not, I'm more than happy to finally get out of school life and start working.

Hopefully by 20 May, which is the date of the ceremony, I'll get my jacket altered so that my formal clothes look presentable...by that time, Shisheido would have given us our make up lesson...and I should have gotten used to my court shoes. More or less.

There's something I wanted to write...but I can't remember what. Keeps slipping whenever I get close. Ohhh! Yesh. As I was saying, I woke up quite sober. And then this thought came over to my mind as I was reading the newspaper article on young people suiciding and Singapore ranking 26th in that. And that is...whom shall I invite for my funeral?

Well...I guess it'll be what's left of my friends and relatives. And church members. Maybe my children and grandchildren, if I have any. I can't decide between 'My Tribute' and 'Thank you for giving to the Lord'. Which would be better to play during the funeral?

Or perhaps I should have that victory march by...some composer, which I found in one of the Fantasia series. Or 'Still' or "Angels" by Hillsongs.

I would like written on my tomb stone- "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept my faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) Finally a good rest." I would also have to ensure the photo of me looks presentable...Plus, I also want my funeral to be evangelistic. =)

And if some non-christians want to burn anything for me...BURN SUBWAY COOKIES. And Famous Amos cookies, and chocolates (not semi-sweet or dark though). Hahaha.

I'm tempted to offer myself up for the cake assistant job in the bakery near my house. And what for when my schedule is so tight already? I guess...I also don't know. Haiz.

Mum recently bought a spraying thing and stuck it in the outside toilet, meaning- not the master bedroom toilet. It's quite a powerful thing. The molecules can somehow diffused into the whole house so at every corner (probably even under the bed), you can smell it. The first time I smelt it, I thought it was quite similar to one of my perfume. But then, the more I smell it, the more it smells like a toilet.

It's quite depressing. Really.